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dont know if many people have noticed that i havent done any new art for a LONG time. just an update if anyone cares, the fact i have a job has taken away my energy to create as it were which is really annoyin cos i was startin to get back into the rythme of drawing. guess its just been a rough few weeks feling walked all over feelin down about myself and refuse to confide in people. even me manager and work mates noticed sumit was up and ive only known them for like 3 1/2 months. not even me mate i work with noticed anythin which is alittle upsettin but i suppose she never saw wat i was like at me worst so doesnt know the signs.
hope that eventually i can get back into the swing of things but right now i need to find my confidence again which i temparerily found and then had ripped away from me again. which totally SUCKS!!. thought after nearly 8 years i had improved...looks like i was SOOOOO wrong.
i can also tell im slippin back cos im goin into a piercing frenzy. just got me left tragus done and the top of me right between me industiral points. they hurt like hell the last few days like. but in a way the pain is comforting (although the headache im gonna get when me mother eventually sees em is gonna be a pain in the arse)
im not tryin to sound like i want pity so if any of u flame me  for sayin this ur comment WILL be hidden or deleted (the people i have talked to before i know wont cos ur really cool), im sure some people may have noticed this or done it themselves but i sometimes feel as if instead of cuttin myself which i was always afraid to do deeply cos people got mad at me then certain people would go and flamin grab me injuries which didnt freakin help! ive grown into being pierced as a form of causing myself pain, cos in a way the stinging and throbbin lasts for a good while durin the healin process then when i feel better i glam it up to show it hasnt beaten me or watever. (bull crap at the minute tho)
if anyone has felt they know wat im talkin about it would be nice to here from u. im not one for talkin about my problems in detail but its comforting to know im not completely alone, even when im surrounded by people. it takes one person who understands how u feel to help lift ur spirits into a more positive light. i hope to help someone in a similar position to improve even if i dont cos it makes me feel better to know someone can find happiness in the smallest thing after so much unhappiness.
i dont know why im writin all this, guess i just want it off me chest since all the people i know probly cnt be bothered with it. they say they care but end of the day it feels as if theyd rather not hear bout it since im always the one bringin the room down.
am i allowed to feel abit let down by them? cos its been really hard lately to shake off the feelin that im being walked all over and my real feelings totally over looked even tho im puttin on a brave face and doin me best to not bother people with it. as per usual.
anyway i think ive ranted enough since other people have worse worries than my petty emotional turmoil. hopefully i should be on here alittle bit more in the future.
oh and hope everyone had a good xmas and new year nearly forgot to say.

oh before i go id like to thnk all the people who have favurited and watched me over the past month ir two that i havent updated. theres so many of u i have to get back to but thanks so much

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Ma DA Peeps X3 (Even Though I Haven't Known Them Long, I Love Em To Pieces)

---> Kasey
---> Wayne
---> Ricky